7 Things Girls Don’t Care About As Much As You Think

1. (1) Which brand of shoes you wear

   If you’re really into sneaks and the Adidas Yeezy Boost 360 causes you salivate in the same way that pizza does, that’s cool. But dropping cash on pricey kicks in order to impress girls is totally unnecessary. We’re not really looking at your shoes, dudes. Your eyes are up there.

2. (2) What kind of car you drive

   You know what they say: the bigger the car payment, the more you have to work to afford that thing. Save your money. We’d much rather ride the high of an interesting conversation.

3. (3) Whether you are shorter than her

   If you feel weird about your height, the implication is that she should feel weird about hers. You like her for how tall she is, she feels the same way about you. Now be cool, so she feels comfortable busting out her heels every once in a while.

4. (4) Where you work

   People change jobs all the time, especially when they’re young. Where you work doesn’t matter as much as your general attitude about life does. No one wants to be around some one who complains about their job all the time, regardless of what it is. The happier you are about what you do, the more fun you will be to be around.

5. (5) What your taste in music is

   Sure, similar interests in music can be a good way to bond with new people, but that doesn’t mean every guy we date has to have the exact same taste. There is no need to pretend to like a band in order to impress us, nor to be shy about whatever you’re into. Part of the fun of dating someone is finding out about new things to be into. We won’t judge your running playlist if you don’t judge ours.

6. (6) Whether you buy her gifts

   From birthdays to holidays to month-a-versaries, it seems like there is always some reason you’re scrambling to come up with the cash and creativity to get her a gift. Don’t stress it. Setting the precedent of giving gifts early in the relationship can put unnecessary pressure on us too, and there is no reason for either of us to spend money we don’t have on things we don’t need. Opt for a thoughtful hang and a sweet note on important dates instead.

7. (7) What the situation is with the hair on your head

   Unable to grow a beard? No worries (and definitely no need to grow out a patchy attempt at one). Is your hair starting to fall out a little? All good. As people who are constantly straightening or dying or contemplating bangs (again), we get it. The hair struggle is real.

Now, that bath towel you’re using as a bedroom curtain… we could probably do without.

tess barker

Tess Barker is a stand up comic and co-host of the Lady to Lady podcast.